a newer, better, even BIGGER version of twenty questions with Ericka Ekstrom (and this time there are actually 20 of them)
*Note to reader: Ericka references herself pretty often as "me" in the questions - those questions I have answered as if I were talking both directly to her and so as to be amusing to the home audience
1.) What brand of lipstick do you think sarah palin prefers?
and i quote:
“From: C______@gmail.com>
To: tips@wonkette.com
Date: Wed, Sep 10, 2008 at 2:59 PM
Subject: tip on Sarah Pallin
Notes: Sarah’s sister in-law owns a beauty parlor in Wasilla…apparently Sarah’s lip liner is tattooed on…not sure what to do with that one.
leak to wonkette”
in conclusion although originally speculated that she wore Wet N’ Wild as to match her fiery personality, it is now categorically been proven that this bulldog has it tattooed on by this foolproof email I found in someone’s blog when i Googled the words lipstick and Sarah Palin together.
sidenote: this misspelling of her last name was obviously intentional by our concerned leaker.
2.) Describe your perfect high end sandwich.
This question almost isn’t fair because I really feel like different things different days. Like particularly right now I could go for a rueben. But I’m generally not a rueben kind of gal. Im usually a swiss and turkey girl. Ok I know what I’ll say. Sauces. It has to have sauces. Mustards especially. Lately I’ve been really into Zatarans Cajun Mustard. It has a really nice underlying heat, that lays low on the tongue and peppers the end of every bite with its distinct Bayou spices. That and anything I can put Sriracha on I’m pretty gay for. Oh and of course, Artisan breads, as well any meats should cost somewhere in the range of 20 USD a pound I’d say. Golden tomatoes are pretty raging right now. Red onion. Anything with fish I’d like to have a remoulade.
3.) Jello pudding cups: trashy or classy?
With the vanilla strip classy, without trashy
4.) Detail Amy Winehouse’s impact on international relations.
Hundreds of thousands of European women have been stolen and sold into sex trafficking since Amy Winehouse hit the scene and criminals everywhere realized how easy it is to get a white girl addicted to drugs.
5.) Favorite work by Gustave Flaubert?
Madeline the beloved childrens book
6.) Facebook or Myspace?
Friendster
7.) If/when i become a successful musician, I will hire you to be my merch girl and tell people my shirts are handcrafted by third world workers who are paid a very competitive wage and live prosperous lives because of my generosity and enlightenment. Which third world country are they from?
Myanmar, because that makes you sound even BETTER
8.) What is your Princess Jasmine^ named?
Bethany
9.) Do you prefere America’s Next Top Model pre-PG county tranny or post-PG county tranny?
pre, it’s not that I have anything against trannies as much as it is that Elyse was the only worthwhile cast member of any of the 13 cycles.
10.) Favorite brunch foods?
HOLLANDAISE. Anything with it. Although if I had to choose, blackened salmon with creamed spinach or greens, topped with a poached egg and drowned in hollandaise. With a side of cheese grits, some andouille sausage and perhaps a big fluffy biscuit with fresh jam and apple butter accompaniments.
11.) Favorite hair styling products?
spray shine
12.) Who would make a better boyfriend for me? Robert Downey Jr. or John Mayer?
definitely John Mayer, he’s way cooler and he dumped Jennifer Aniston, something I think we all wish we could do.
13.) Should I wear my red patent leather ballet flats to work tomorrow, or my yellow chucks?
I would wear your chucks, but they would be monochrome black. Take that for what it’s worth...which blatantly isn’t much, nor is it a real response.
14.) How many of these questions are actually about me?
pretty much all of them, but I was expecting it so I’m not let down. It’s like a visit to Waffle House you know, not exactly what you wanted, but still kind of fun and troublingly delicious.
15.) When Shervin and I get a puppy together, which vicious dictator from history should we name it after (Chairman Mao is taken by my fish)
Musharraf
16.) The new Jenny Lewis record leaked. Do you want me to send it to you? absolutely
17.) In what year was the battle of Louvain fought?
Of course you’re speaking of the time that Gene Hackman and Danny Glover got into in the kitchen in the Royal Tenenbaums, which I am pretty sure was released in 2001.
18.) Favorite abstract expressionist?
Ericka Ekstrom
19.) What’s your favorite thing to order at Jaleo?
shark nuggets
20.) Thoughts and feelings on the feds taking over Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac?
I mean since the government has its spending under control I think it’s a great idea. We value our freedom and sovereignty over all else here in America, that's why we allow the government to do absolutely anything they want! (With that being said, the hard truth is that our economy literally could not function if these two institutions were allowed to go bankrupt)
^vagina
anne
Monday, September 15, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
patriot nation
my mom is not only allowed, but expected, to wear jeans and athletic shoes to work. they say its so she can run to...or from the children. i can't imagine she's liking her new job too horribly much, but at least when she's at rest shes comfortable and casual.
in my life:
i hate school.
i do this thing where im very aware of time in my head. once, during the period of time in which i was infamously a debt collector for the worlds largest credit union, they made all of us in training play this game, where you closed your eyes and raised your hand when you thought that sixty seconds had passed. almost everyone had raised their hand by 35 seconds, a couple of turds waited obnoxiously long until like 3 minutes, and i raised my hand at 64 seconds. the point of the exercise is to show you how impatient most people are, and what their perception of "give me a minute" really is. point being, my perception of a minute is a minute. i know how long it takes me to get places, i can relatively accurately guess traffic patterns and parking issues, the walk to class, getting lost on the way, stopping to stare at people, etc etc. so when i missed my first class in two years monday morning (not first class ive missed in two years mind you, literally the FIRST class ive had in two years) it was blatant and deliberate. i knew exactly what i was doing when i sliced into that wegmans onion bagel and put it in the toaster. i knew what i was doing as i slathered on the chive cream cheese, golden tomatoes, capers and red onion. when i sat down to eat it and check my facebook. when i took a shower, knowing full well i wasnt going to talk to anyone all day. so the real question left to be asked is mostly whats wrong with me? like who honest to god thinks that is a good way to make a first impression just on oneself when going back to school. i did however use the time in which i had missed my first class to finally purchase some books, pens, pencils, paper you know like "necessities" at the GMU official bookstore. it was an awful experience and i somehow managed to run into like the 4 people i had hoped to avoid for my entire time here. there were signs everywhere that said things like patriot nation and begged me to join different student groups all clad in green and gold. but there was no saving grace outside either as the day had been completely devoted to new students. college is overwhelming when there are people there.
oh, and heres the kicker on that class, even though i maned up and emailed my prof about being absent and asked for the assignment, as well as some rando from the class listserve (btw f you "babebe2") neither of them wrote me back and it turns out they either watched or read some absurd japanese philosophical movie/novella on perception of which i can not for the life of me find online in a workable document, and they wrote a short essay on it. i mean is this a joke, or is this a joke. it was the first day of school in a 100 level history class. who assigns actual work. anyways so im pissed, going to get graded down on being absent and missing an assignment, but i suppose now that im taking hindu philosophy i should just recognize blatant karma when is sucker punches me in the gullet.
on top of that for the classes i did go to:
1. physical geography: not to be confused with world geography (stupid me), its a science class. about how the world turns and shit. an inconvenient truth is one of our sources for the class. it was recommended that i look it up in ten parts on youtube by my professor, whom i can not for the life of me understand due to his accent and his inability to modulate the level of his voice to an audible decibel. the girl that sits behind me wears long roxy board shorts and huffs things like "ugh im soooo bored" and "hell nah" all class. suffice to say i dont like her. there is also the mystery girl who is randomly in this class and my next one...
2. hinduism religion and philosophy: so who else but me is taking a freshman level natural science and a junior level eastern religion philosophy course with like 9 other people and a short vietnamese professor who says "you see what i mean" after literally every single statement he makes. ive heard "you see what i mean" overused before, but its normally by people of lesser intelligence and they are actually referring to a situation in which you probably do see what they mean. but no prof nguyen says things in which you really have no idea what he means because they are fucking philosophical man. its unfair, and i can not listen to him either because i just count how many times he says that. it must be bringing him some sort of enlightenment so i figure i should see if i can see the light when he says it.
3. lastly of the classes ive taken so far (one final fifth one tomorrow evening) interpersonal communication: besides that fact that i was convinced my teacher was the woman amanda told me about who does nothing but speak about her partner and their child all the time, until she mentioned her husband, there is this girl. she is unfortunate. like in every sense of the word, but without me having to feel badly for her. do you see what i mean. she was wearing this grossly oversized white tee shirt with what appeared to be a faux needlepoint saying on it. i couldnt focus on her long enough to read it, but my two best guesses are either a. a quote from the bible or b. an ironic quote from the bible. in either case she probably is interested in faeries (spelled that way) anime and boys that wear black shirts with double entendres written in aggressive white lettering. now before you go thinking im so so horrible, let me just point out its not that i like noticed her and was just obsessively being awful about her in my mind, she went out of her way to interrupt the class several times on tangents that were really not even tangentially related to the topic. i mean dont get me wrong the topic of "interpersonal communication" barely deserves to be a topic (of course by barely i do mean "does not") but that doesnt mean that i want to listen to someone blather about things loudly having to do with how unfair it is we have to buy new books since they have worksheets in them. i at one point looked at the young lady to my left and informed her that i would be switching seats so i could sit closer to my new obsession tomorrow, because thats where the action is at. i mean its a class on networking, ive got plenty of free time to do other things. the other important happening in class was that we were assigned a short speech for tomorrow in which we present a quote. lucky me i had my handy dandy free mason planner in front of me, you know the high school style ones with an inspirational quote from some sort of prolific mind from history on each page. well guess who they chose as the first one of the new school year...no not thomas jefferson, albert einstein is close...ok give up...
jessica ALBA
JESSICA alba
you are reading that correctly (even with that creative capitalization i did there) the students of george mason who are trying to inspire me into feeling good about going to this university selected jessica alba to lead their quotes for the year.
the quote is something to the effect of:
"if youre like confident you can like do like anything you want even if you like dont like know how"
at least thats how im going to present it, because i imagine thats how she said it before her publicist cleaned it up a bit (cleaned it up = taking out the likes).
anyways like i said
i hate school
i kind of also hate my job
my to-do lists i feel arent getting as accomplished as i want them to because now i have to add things to them everyday as opposed to once every 3 months
but i did get fresh new kicks today that make me smile
peace and hair grease
Anne
in my life:
i hate school.
i do this thing where im very aware of time in my head. once, during the period of time in which i was infamously a debt collector for the worlds largest credit union, they made all of us in training play this game, where you closed your eyes and raised your hand when you thought that sixty seconds had passed. almost everyone had raised their hand by 35 seconds, a couple of turds waited obnoxiously long until like 3 minutes, and i raised my hand at 64 seconds. the point of the exercise is to show you how impatient most people are, and what their perception of "give me a minute" really is. point being, my perception of a minute is a minute. i know how long it takes me to get places, i can relatively accurately guess traffic patterns and parking issues, the walk to class, getting lost on the way, stopping to stare at people, etc etc. so when i missed my first class in two years monday morning (not first class ive missed in two years mind you, literally the FIRST class ive had in two years) it was blatant and deliberate. i knew exactly what i was doing when i sliced into that wegmans onion bagel and put it in the toaster. i knew what i was doing as i slathered on the chive cream cheese, golden tomatoes, capers and red onion. when i sat down to eat it and check my facebook. when i took a shower, knowing full well i wasnt going to talk to anyone all day. so the real question left to be asked is mostly whats wrong with me? like who honest to god thinks that is a good way to make a first impression just on oneself when going back to school. i did however use the time in which i had missed my first class to finally purchase some books, pens, pencils, paper you know like "necessities" at the GMU official bookstore. it was an awful experience and i somehow managed to run into like the 4 people i had hoped to avoid for my entire time here. there were signs everywhere that said things like patriot nation and begged me to join different student groups all clad in green and gold. but there was no saving grace outside either as the day had been completely devoted to new students. college is overwhelming when there are people there.
oh, and heres the kicker on that class, even though i maned up and emailed my prof about being absent and asked for the assignment, as well as some rando from the class listserve (btw f you "babebe2") neither of them wrote me back and it turns out they either watched or read some absurd japanese philosophical movie/novella on perception of which i can not for the life of me find online in a workable document, and they wrote a short essay on it. i mean is this a joke, or is this a joke. it was the first day of school in a 100 level history class. who assigns actual work. anyways so im pissed, going to get graded down on being absent and missing an assignment, but i suppose now that im taking hindu philosophy i should just recognize blatant karma when is sucker punches me in the gullet.
on top of that for the classes i did go to:
1. physical geography: not to be confused with world geography (stupid me), its a science class. about how the world turns and shit. an inconvenient truth is one of our sources for the class. it was recommended that i look it up in ten parts on youtube by my professor, whom i can not for the life of me understand due to his accent and his inability to modulate the level of his voice to an audible decibel. the girl that sits behind me wears long roxy board shorts and huffs things like "ugh im soooo bored" and "hell nah" all class. suffice to say i dont like her. there is also the mystery girl who is randomly in this class and my next one...
2. hinduism religion and philosophy: so who else but me is taking a freshman level natural science and a junior level eastern religion philosophy course with like 9 other people and a short vietnamese professor who says "you see what i mean" after literally every single statement he makes. ive heard "you see what i mean" overused before, but its normally by people of lesser intelligence and they are actually referring to a situation in which you probably do see what they mean. but no prof nguyen says things in which you really have no idea what he means because they are fucking philosophical man. its unfair, and i can not listen to him either because i just count how many times he says that. it must be bringing him some sort of enlightenment so i figure i should see if i can see the light when he says it.
3. lastly of the classes ive taken so far (one final fifth one tomorrow evening) interpersonal communication: besides that fact that i was convinced my teacher was the woman amanda told me about who does nothing but speak about her partner and their child all the time, until she mentioned her husband, there is this girl. she is unfortunate. like in every sense of the word, but without me having to feel badly for her. do you see what i mean. she was wearing this grossly oversized white tee shirt with what appeared to be a faux needlepoint saying on it. i couldnt focus on her long enough to read it, but my two best guesses are either a. a quote from the bible or b. an ironic quote from the bible. in either case she probably is interested in faeries (spelled that way) anime and boys that wear black shirts with double entendres written in aggressive white lettering. now before you go thinking im so so horrible, let me just point out its not that i like noticed her and was just obsessively being awful about her in my mind, she went out of her way to interrupt the class several times on tangents that were really not even tangentially related to the topic. i mean dont get me wrong the topic of "interpersonal communication" barely deserves to be a topic (of course by barely i do mean "does not") but that doesnt mean that i want to listen to someone blather about things loudly having to do with how unfair it is we have to buy new books since they have worksheets in them. i at one point looked at the young lady to my left and informed her that i would be switching seats so i could sit closer to my new obsession tomorrow, because thats where the action is at. i mean its a class on networking, ive got plenty of free time to do other things. the other important happening in class was that we were assigned a short speech for tomorrow in which we present a quote. lucky me i had my handy dandy free mason planner in front of me, you know the high school style ones with an inspirational quote from some sort of prolific mind from history on each page. well guess who they chose as the first one of the new school year...no not thomas jefferson, albert einstein is close...ok give up...
jessica ALBA
JESSICA alba
you are reading that correctly (even with that creative capitalization i did there) the students of george mason who are trying to inspire me into feeling good about going to this university selected jessica alba to lead their quotes for the year.
the quote is something to the effect of:
"if youre like confident you can like do like anything you want even if you like dont like know how"
at least thats how im going to present it, because i imagine thats how she said it before her publicist cleaned it up a bit (cleaned it up = taking out the likes).
anyways like i said
i hate school
i kind of also hate my job
my to-do lists i feel arent getting as accomplished as i want them to because now i have to add things to them everyday as opposed to once every 3 months
but i did get fresh new kicks today that make me smile
peace and hair grease
Anne
Sunday, August 24, 2008
so its 228 the morning after my 21st birthday and im completely sober, not only that but i start school again tomorrow. damn its been a minute. in order to put off thinking about school i did just that, put it off. i dont have my books, i dont have any paper or pens (my work ones permitting), no back pack, hell i dont even know my schedule or where my classes are. and that says nothing as to whether im allowed to park on campus or not. suffice to say i am horribly underprepared, and really all that this whole going back to school thing has done for me is gotten my feet ready to fly. i love it here i mean i really do consider virginia my actual home, and i like it to be the place i come back to, but i just kind of feel like its time for a new adventure somewhere flirty. im aware of the fact that thats kind of impossible right now and my parents might end my life if i were to mention it, but im getting the sense these are going to be a few months to get through and not necessarily enjoy. ive held this job for almost two months thats like some sort of accomplishment right? anyways point being since ive got jittery feet expect the unexpected friends. i should hear back on whether or not im leading an israel trip this winter within the week so that should help calm me down, but if you live somewhere fun and you want a weekend guest get at me, i really feel like i need to start doing the things i profess to like and not just drinking and being really fun you know. so i want to travel travel travel.
Monday, August 18, 2008
groovy
hi everyone
ive been extremely remiss in my blogging lately
i totally outlined two whole blogs, one on my trip to southern mass (no not boston), and the other on how my family is polite (it was relevant and interesting i promise).
im pretty sure those arent ever going to see the light of day (well i could resurrect the second one at some point, but i probably wont), so i figured id just start on a whole new topic.
so this past saturday night i stay in right, which has so not been me lately, really im the opposite of that. and i cant tell if its because the novelty of being home has worn off and im actually settling back in, or that taking just one day off of partying made me reevaluate my whole life but goooooodness was i manic. i made perhaps the longest to do list ive made in quite some time, and if you know me well you know i love my damned to-do lists. this one is entitled "things to do before school starts: fall semester 2008" (i always like them to have really official titles because it makes whatevers on them, like say "buy pens!", sound really important) well of course i went a little overboard and it contains things like "look into summer internships" with a list of several options i think would make sense...10 months out. there are also several subcategories and ive noted on what day at what time i should be trying to accomplish these tasks. like take today for example. 1. i asked barb to pick up my school books 2. i found someone to cover my thursday morning shift so i can a. go out wednesday night like a proper lady and b. get my military id thursday mid-afternoon so i dont lose my medical insurance (that would be bad) 3. 411ed navy federal to setup a bank account so i have a local branch i can visit with my cash money 4. 411ed the dcjcc so i could sign up for jewish cooking classes (hopefully with older well connected jews - this is directly linked to my summer internship search) in the fall, of course she was out of town so i had to leave a very detailed message and i made sure to include that i used to live in israel because its impressive 5. tried to find someone to cover my sunday which they are refusing to do, but its my 21st birthday so they have to.
that fifth and final task today brings me to my next point. i am very literally teetering on the edge of a precipice i legitimately at one time thought might never come. 21. and you know what, im extremely underwhelmed. for the last approximately 20years and 350ish days ive been talking about and planning the most spectacular party week ever. and then all of the sudden i almost could not care less. school starts monday and i have this enormous list to tackle now, plus we are all pretty aware that not being 21 hasnt really impeded my life at all. all i can really think thats changing is that jacks is going to have to serve me again, and they only havent been for like maybe a month and a half. thats not so much build up you know. anyways getting older sucks. im going to pretend to be 17 until im 40 and then i might be 16, who knows!
point being: my immediate family (discluding michael) is incredibly polite, im almost 21, i like to-do lists, time flies, dare to dream
i love you all
goodnight
anne banann
ive been extremely remiss in my blogging lately
i totally outlined two whole blogs, one on my trip to southern mass (no not boston), and the other on how my family is polite (it was relevant and interesting i promise).
im pretty sure those arent ever going to see the light of day (well i could resurrect the second one at some point, but i probably wont), so i figured id just start on a whole new topic.
so this past saturday night i stay in right, which has so not been me lately, really im the opposite of that. and i cant tell if its because the novelty of being home has worn off and im actually settling back in, or that taking just one day off of partying made me reevaluate my whole life but goooooodness was i manic. i made perhaps the longest to do list ive made in quite some time, and if you know me well you know i love my damned to-do lists. this one is entitled "things to do before school starts: fall semester 2008" (i always like them to have really official titles because it makes whatevers on them, like say "buy pens!", sound really important) well of course i went a little overboard and it contains things like "look into summer internships" with a list of several options i think would make sense...10 months out. there are also several subcategories and ive noted on what day at what time i should be trying to accomplish these tasks. like take today for example. 1. i asked barb to pick up my school books 2. i found someone to cover my thursday morning shift so i can a. go out wednesday night like a proper lady and b. get my military id thursday mid-afternoon so i dont lose my medical insurance (that would be bad) 3. 411ed navy federal to setup a bank account so i have a local branch i can visit with my cash money 4. 411ed the dcjcc so i could sign up for jewish cooking classes (hopefully with older well connected jews - this is directly linked to my summer internship search) in the fall, of course she was out of town so i had to leave a very detailed message and i made sure to include that i used to live in israel because its impressive 5. tried to find someone to cover my sunday which they are refusing to do, but its my 21st birthday so they have to.
that fifth and final task today brings me to my next point. i am very literally teetering on the edge of a precipice i legitimately at one time thought might never come. 21. and you know what, im extremely underwhelmed. for the last approximately 20years and 350ish days ive been talking about and planning the most spectacular party week ever. and then all of the sudden i almost could not care less. school starts monday and i have this enormous list to tackle now, plus we are all pretty aware that not being 21 hasnt really impeded my life at all. all i can really think thats changing is that jacks is going to have to serve me again, and they only havent been for like maybe a month and a half. thats not so much build up you know. anyways getting older sucks. im going to pretend to be 17 until im 40 and then i might be 16, who knows!
point being: my immediate family (discluding michael) is incredibly polite, im almost 21, i like to-do lists, time flies, dare to dream
i love you all
goodnight
anne banann
Sunday, August 3, 2008
oh no
so i just read my previous blog, which for the last couple of days i was actually proud of. im not sure if its because im high, so everything is going so slowly, or because it just actually is that terrible...but jesus christ. i hate it right now. i also always forget how much i hate pot.
546 am
work in the morning
winston already asleep (at least an hour)
need more water
cant find toothbrush
Anne
546 am
work in the morning
winston already asleep (at least an hour)
need more water
cant find toothbrush
Anne
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
oh my freak
so the aim of todays blog entry is to find a way to be completely appropriate, so that ashleys mother can read it and then think that im a really good person. good luck to me.
this morning i was really sluggish getting up, it took about 4 solid minutes of "love dont let me go" blaring in my ear from my cellular telephone until i realized that it was my alarm and not some a-hole calling me in the early morning hours. it took another minute or so to decide it was in fact more annoying to listen to not very good techno, than to have to open my eyes, roll over and turn the damned thing off (im doing a horrible job making this appropriate if cursing is a problem). i finally managed to get out of bed and have a blissful few morning facebook moments to check on my popularity which is ever growing before i hoped in the shower. i keep leaving my stupid ipod in the truck so i was forced to listen to connors music in the shower, luckily he has 9 third eye blind songs, so i had fodder for cleansing time. i already knew no one was home and boy did i sing my heart out. one day im going to be a rock musician, just like ericka ekstrom and bret michaels. anyways heres where i feel like my story really kicks it up, BAM, a few notches. im out of the shower, right, and im getting dressed as per usual for work in my jlo glo jeans (to make an appearance later), black socks, shoes, belt and white fruit of the loom mens small v-neck, when what do i see but non other than fucking aragog from harry potter (if you arent so well read as i, thats the giant spider from the second book) only BIGGER. like aragogs cousin magragog or something. i was so tired, but i had to deal with it. ugh dont you hate that. its like really magragog why today of all days you know, yesterday i was more alert, probably after work even ill be good, but right now like i have to get dressed and make some coffee but no, instead i had to have a BATTLE ROYALE. which consisted of me collecting all of my shoes, standing on my wrought iron twin bed and hurling them at the pile of clothing mags was hiding in on my floor right next to my mothers antique collection of coca cola bottles she likes to pretend are mine, all the while squealing. he got all up in my other work jeans, which made me really angry because like i didnt want to wear the jlo ones today, they arent everyday jeans, they are for special occasions, but now that there was spider germs all up in my granes i couldnt bring myself to wear them. if im being honest, i thought it might be possible that magragog had some how managed to lay eggs in my jeans, and the thought of hundreds of thousands of probably millions of little tiny brown hairy spiders bursting to life and crawling up my leg while i was say driving while texting on my way to work or even secretly checking my texts in the side stand while at work made me want to vomit and pass out for like at least a half an hour. point being i couldnt wear them, other point being this battle was fierce, i even had to recollect some shoes, i must have thrown close to 40 until i finally got him to succumb to my shear force and will. never underestimate a half asleep girl with a pair of fresh air force ones my friend, it could mean danger for you!
as you can well see the beast slumbers...forever
in other news i did still find time to make my coffee and a fried egg sandwich on buttered toast with, heavily seasoned in black pepper and salt with melted provolone. it was pretty tasty if i do say so myself, and i did a damn fine job of not breaking the yolk when i flipped the egg, which is lucky because realistically i would have had a fit with myself thrown it out, started over and been late to work. but it didnt so that was nice, i munched down, drank my coffee, drove to work, went to tie my walmart servers sneaks in the parking lot and what do i see but...
shit EGG YOLK all over my GLOs! ugh this is all magragogs fault
well whatever i got over all of that, made virtually no money at work today, which was whatever since i find it difficult to care about most things since i had fun anyways and ashley did come to visit. had a nice lunch with winston at the olive garden because someone (hint: not me) only likes dining at chains and since basically my entire life revolves around food and eating and being snobby it was my first choice. i will say in their defense, fine the bread sticks are good, congratulations. i ate enough to want to die, so i bought a sugar free redbull for work. winston says i have to work up to the more intense energy drinks so that i dont have a heart attack on the floor. i thought that was relatively sound advice. after work i ate winstons left over cheese raviolis that had been sitting in my car for several hours festering. whos the food snob now. then i came home and had the pleasure of not only watching the secret diaries and weeds but TED ALLENS new foodnetwork show. TED ALLEN. the ted allen. as in ted allen ted allen. god he is so GREAT. and i caught previews for a new show ask aida with aida mollenkamp. shes a lucky bitch. what she just likes food and writing about it and talking to people. who doesnt. why not give me a show. ok yeah so she did go to culinary school...at le cordon bleu in paris, but f it. what does she really have that i dont. nothing, thats what.
anyways i cant really think of what else to say, other than its really late and my eyes are going all shifty on me. ashley maybe you can edit out the parts your mom
wouldnt like and then you can show her. i tried you know.
until later
Anne
this morning i was really sluggish getting up, it took about 4 solid minutes of "love dont let me go" blaring in my ear from my cellular telephone until i realized that it was my alarm and not some a-hole calling me in the early morning hours. it took another minute or so to decide it was in fact more annoying to listen to not very good techno, than to have to open my eyes, roll over and turn the damned thing off (im doing a horrible job making this appropriate if cursing is a problem). i finally managed to get out of bed and have a blissful few morning facebook moments to check on my popularity which is ever growing before i hoped in the shower. i keep leaving my stupid ipod in the truck so i was forced to listen to connors music in the shower, luckily he has 9 third eye blind songs, so i had fodder for cleansing time. i already knew no one was home and boy did i sing my heart out. one day im going to be a rock musician, just like ericka ekstrom and bret michaels. anyways heres where i feel like my story really kicks it up, BAM, a few notches. im out of the shower, right, and im getting dressed as per usual for work in my jlo glo jeans (to make an appearance later), black socks, shoes, belt and white fruit of the loom mens small v-neck, when what do i see but non other than fucking aragog from harry potter (if you arent so well read as i, thats the giant spider from the second book) only BIGGER. like aragogs cousin magragog or something. i was so tired, but i had to deal with it. ugh dont you hate that. its like really magragog why today of all days you know, yesterday i was more alert, probably after work even ill be good, but right now like i have to get dressed and make some coffee but no, instead i had to have a BATTLE ROYALE. which consisted of me collecting all of my shoes, standing on my wrought iron twin bed and hurling them at the pile of clothing mags was hiding in on my floor right next to my mothers antique collection of coca cola bottles she likes to pretend are mine, all the while squealing. he got all up in my other work jeans, which made me really angry because like i didnt want to wear the jlo ones today, they arent everyday jeans, they are for special occasions, but now that there was spider germs all up in my granes i couldnt bring myself to wear them. if im being honest, i thought it might be possible that magragog had some how managed to lay eggs in my jeans, and the thought of hundreds of thousands of probably millions of little tiny brown hairy spiders bursting to life and crawling up my leg while i was say driving while texting on my way to work or even secretly checking my texts in the side stand while at work made me want to vomit and pass out for like at least a half an hour. point being i couldnt wear them, other point being this battle was fierce, i even had to recollect some shoes, i must have thrown close to 40 until i finally got him to succumb to my shear force and will. never underestimate a half asleep girl with a pair of fresh air force ones my friend, it could mean danger for you!
as you can well see the beast slumbers...forever
in other news i did still find time to make my coffee and a fried egg sandwich on buttered toast with, heavily seasoned in black pepper and salt with melted provolone. it was pretty tasty if i do say so myself, and i did a damn fine job of not breaking the yolk when i flipped the egg, which is lucky because realistically i would have had a fit with myself thrown it out, started over and been late to work. but it didnt so that was nice, i munched down, drank my coffee, drove to work, went to tie my walmart servers sneaks in the parking lot and what do i see but...
shit EGG YOLK all over my GLOs! ugh this is all magragogs fault
well whatever i got over all of that, made virtually no money at work today, which was whatever since i find it difficult to care about most things since i had fun anyways and ashley did come to visit. had a nice lunch with winston at the olive garden because someone (hint: not me) only likes dining at chains and since basically my entire life revolves around food and eating and being snobby it was my first choice. i will say in their defense, fine the bread sticks are good, congratulations. i ate enough to want to die, so i bought a sugar free redbull for work. winston says i have to work up to the more intense energy drinks so that i dont have a heart attack on the floor. i thought that was relatively sound advice. after work i ate winstons left over cheese raviolis that had been sitting in my car for several hours festering. whos the food snob now. then i came home and had the pleasure of not only watching the secret diaries and weeds but TED ALLENS new foodnetwork show. TED ALLEN. the ted allen. as in ted allen ted allen. god he is so GREAT. and i caught previews for a new show ask aida with aida mollenkamp. shes a lucky bitch. what she just likes food and writing about it and talking to people. who doesnt. why not give me a show. ok yeah so she did go to culinary school...at le cordon bleu in paris, but f it. what does she really have that i dont. nothing, thats what.
anyways i cant really think of what else to say, other than its really late and my eyes are going all shifty on me. ashley maybe you can edit out the parts your mom
wouldnt like and then you can show her. i tried you know.
until later
Anne
Monday, July 21, 2008
i got my crabs at captain pells
home from work and loungin in the den with my moms watching some what not to wear, that somehow sparked her mentioning to me she wishes she could throw me and that she was the most "physical" with me growing up. and i quote "do you remember the time i dragged you up the stairs?"
uncomfortable...quick segue...
so i remember mentioning that id include some fun work anecdotes in a previous entry, heres my first one:
woman (who may or may not have had aspergers so this is potentially not funny/even funnier?(anne youre awful)): do you have any low alcohol beers?
me: why indeed we do
woman: can i please have one?
me: absolutely, can i see your id maam?
woman: oh well ha, heavens me im going to be 32 next week
me: well you just wouldnt know it, you dont look a day over 26
woman: oh well thank you darling, you look pretty young yourself...you could pass for 28.
me: oh...thanks... *forced smile as her asian dining guests apologized to me*
and that was the time in which a valued guest, who drinks low alcohol beers mind you, told me that i could possibly pass for looking as young as 28. i look really good in my uniform.
today was my first unsupervised shift on the floor. it was surprisingly really fun. now i know that im the kind of person that really only likes to do things for somewhere right around four months, but i think at the very least its going to be a really fun four months. i think i didnt do terribly and the people were relatively enjoyable...also no one told me that i was a decade older than i am so that was nice. although one man, who we will just say comes from a country where tipping obviously doesnt occur, left me 21 cents. that says cents. cents dont buy much of anything. actually cents dont buy anything i feel like. thats not even enough for a gumball. not that id want a gumball, but for fucksake lets say i did, well i couldnt have one. i would legitimately have to beg 4 cents off of someone else, someone who made more than 21 cents at their table i suppose.
well whatever, with the rest of the money that i actually did make im going out for a FANCY CRAB FEAST with paul-e wall-e (thats a cultural reference nickname right there friends) at captain pells fairfax crabhouse (not to be confused with captain pells bareback crabhouse where danielle is going this evening). im very excited, and i deserve it. god i think highly of myself. i hope my crabs arent from maryland, even though theyre meant to be delicious and superiour to our virginia crabs maryland is dirty, and im not and i hate maryland.
double tomorrow.
we'll talk soon
anne
uncomfortable...quick segue...
so i remember mentioning that id include some fun work anecdotes in a previous entry, heres my first one:
woman (who may or may not have had aspergers so this is potentially not funny/even funnier?(anne youre awful)): do you have any low alcohol beers?
me: why indeed we do
woman: can i please have one?
me: absolutely, can i see your id maam?
woman: oh well ha, heavens me im going to be 32 next week
me: well you just wouldnt know it, you dont look a day over 26
woman: oh well thank you darling, you look pretty young yourself...you could pass for 28.
me: oh...thanks... *forced smile as her asian dining guests apologized to me*
and that was the time in which a valued guest, who drinks low alcohol beers mind you, told me that i could possibly pass for looking as young as 28. i look really good in my uniform.
today was my first unsupervised shift on the floor. it was surprisingly really fun. now i know that im the kind of person that really only likes to do things for somewhere right around four months, but i think at the very least its going to be a really fun four months. i think i didnt do terribly and the people were relatively enjoyable...also no one told me that i was a decade older than i am so that was nice. although one man, who we will just say comes from a country where tipping obviously doesnt occur, left me 21 cents. that says cents. cents dont buy much of anything. actually cents dont buy anything i feel like. thats not even enough for a gumball. not that id want a gumball, but for fucksake lets say i did, well i couldnt have one. i would legitimately have to beg 4 cents off of someone else, someone who made more than 21 cents at their table i suppose.
well whatever, with the rest of the money that i actually did make im going out for a FANCY CRAB FEAST with paul-e wall-e (thats a cultural reference nickname right there friends) at captain pells fairfax crabhouse (not to be confused with captain pells bareback crabhouse where danielle is going this evening). im very excited, and i deserve it. god i think highly of myself. i hope my crabs arent from maryland, even though theyre meant to be delicious and superiour to our virginia crabs maryland is dirty, and im not and i hate maryland.
double tomorrow.
we'll talk soon
anne
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