the "List"

so I know some of you have been hearing about my infamous list for weeks now

(this of course being the itemized list of things that I miss in America)

well here it is, this time in no particular order (and of course to be appended as necessary)

- Subway
- Autumn
- seasons in general
- Starbucks

- Starbucks seasonal beverages (pumpkin spiced latted, what)
- drip coffee
- Halloween
- Thanksgiving
- Chipotle
- waiting in line
- drivers, to include ones from Maryland (yeah I mean it that much)
- soup in the can!
- cheddar cheese (I heard you can get it here but I'm sure it isn't yellow, nor does it have renin in it so it doesn't count)
- cilantro (also apparently obtainable, though not anywhere I've seen)
- accessibility to international cuisines
- the east coast

- the wild west
- the north east
- the south east
(not the west coast, ha! take that, I've still got regional pride)
- a good and properly made mixed drink
- oh I don't know maybe service in a restaurant
- marked prices on anything, ever
- the Food Network
- Bravo
- normal release dates for movies
- black people
- spanish people
- other ethnicities who aren't Jewish
- BAGELS (shocking but true)
- cream cheese (schmear right I know, come on)
- Lindsay Lohan (lilo I miss you girl, and your dramz)
- getting my groceries bagged (Wegmans, Wegmans, Wegmans)
- the option of more than 4 kinds of beer at a bar
- pinot grigio
- instructions, for anything
- non-kosher pizza
- non-kosher restaurants
- salmon from alaska
- crab meat (I know I know I'm a bad bad Jew)
- Wegmans again
- not having to squeegie my bathroom floor after showering
- not having to turn on the dude (hot water heater) a half hour (or ever) before showering
- central heat and air
- delis
- goyim!!!
- target
- not having to download tv
- Sonic!

- Chick-fil-a
- my cellphone/Verizon
- BIG cities, GODOL cities
- rivers (I've gotten some shit for this one, but it's my list, I like rivers, get over it)
- my facewash
- my shampoo and hair products
- US electrical outlets
- ovens
- real mattresses (some of these just happen to have to do with my current conditions)
- ice in your drinks
- deli meats (Boars Head)
- the beef and chicken prepackaged meats at the grocery store, not that waiting to watch you grind my beef in the same machine you use to grind chicken isn't fun


Please feel free to leave comments adding things to this list, I know I'm for sure not done

Of course don't take this to mean I don't care about Irael, desserts here are far superior. Like f-ing get into chocolate in this country because you'll probably want to die it's unreal. I've also come to enjoy green olives, corn and real home-grown conservative ideals I never happened to find in the U.S. of A.

gam (also)
two other fun factz!

1. z is called zed in australia (and apparently england)
2. Americans wear black low top chucks; conversely (converse, HAR HAR!) Brazilians wear white low top chucks