today i got myself ordained online.  now i can officiate all the gay and non-gay weddings i want.

ive been writing this dude on death row for the last 7 or so months, and in my last letter i decided to come out to him.  not because i really give a fuck if he knows im gay, but mostly because by not bringing it up i had no way to really share my life with him.  dont get me wrong, its interesting as hell to talk to him about music, books and cellblock life.  but im selfish and he should know about me too.  i bring this all up to say that he wrote me back, with a birthday card might i add, and told me he also didnt give a fuck that i was gay.  at the end he, i think, tries to set me up with amy from california, whom he's just really sure id like.  the best part of the entire exchange is that im not even surprised.

dance dance dance

im currently trying to help put together a playlist for a dance party later this month and am working my way through hype machines latest and most popular music, its honestly very troubling.  like for sure no one wants to listen, no less dance, to anything that i like.  or do you think if i selected women weeping on top of their pianos it would actually do the trick?  i just assume if a song is labeled remix i'm in the clear.

summer

i know everyone seems to love summer and what not, but can we just admit to the elephant in the room.  summer is an absolute curse.  i am forced to go out all the time and "enjoy myself".  its so nice out, why dont we just sit on a patio?  why dont we go out for drinks on a tuesday at midnight?  why dont we try dating anyone and everyone? we should be having fun because we are wearing shorts at nighttime!  what if i want to just eat aimees karamel sutra in imperceptible (only to myself) bites and watch prison break?  i dont care that prison break came out in 2005 and is as bad now as it was then.  what if i want to try to teach myself the history of punk music by locking myself in my troubled, windowless room with hours and hours of music?  no, i should go to the beach.  well guess what, im scared of the water.  shit is terrifying.  this is the east coast, i cant see through that water, i dont think so.

in conclusion: summer is a curse

labor day

sometimes things just sort of change.  all day ive been a lazy mess.  i keep saying that im going to go to the gym, that im going to straighten my hair (for a hair experiment im working on called "greaser"), that im going to find an apartment and a new job.  but i did nothing.  then i got a phone call from someone who was very excited.  just that she spoke very excitedly.  and now here i am.  i sent several emails, and thats a form of work i would say, im more seriously considering going to the gym, i picked a restaurant for dinner.  like this is good stuff.  i know it seems small, but its all about the mindset.  i feel very much more go go go than i did twenty minutes ago when ordering in for dinner seemed a reasonable option for roommates night out.  boy are my roommates going to be surprised when they find out that ive picked a place we either have to hotwire a car or take 3 busses.