its interesting to not be home for October, and certainly on days like today when I'm feeling a wee bit homesick its really of no comfort to know I'm missing not only everything i know but everything i look forward to every year {{(like lunching on the mall in front of the monument with friendies/having a very Cruzan Halloween as Paul Baldwin/still working at fucking Brio/or not being friends with Brandon yet (haha maybe thats why i miss it so much, JUST KIDDING BRANDY))}}.
I've been working really hard on remembering to recognize all of the things that i have in Israel that i cant have in the united states. things that will never be and therefore makes them special moments in my life....but like i said sometimes its just not so easy. especially when i look at a weekend like this past one where i barely even left the mercaz (besides clubbing in a strip mall (of course!) and that 25 dollar burger meal because i was going a little crazy - thanks payoneer) since we had a closed shabbat (aka you cant leave) because jesna (a jewish agency that works with jewish education in the world at large) came down for some seminars/programs and meals. the mercaz isn't exactly the hippest place in the whole fucking world and fact of the matter is the other people who live here aren't from Israel either so we don't even speak a common language with our neighbors. it gets pretty boring sometimes, and being that I'm aware all of my friends are going to pumpkin patches and haunted houses and planning their Halloween outfits and evenings makes me a little bit jealous. not only that but i wasn't even home to be with my parents on their birthdays or just walking around taking in the brisk weather and the turning of the leaves. i really never thought id get to a place in my life where i understood why my father always wanted to just drive around in autumn, well dad guess what i get it. America is fucking beautiful, and i suppose its nice to know that i really do love and appreciate the place that I'm from. some people here refer to missing home as in the specific town or city they are from and my whole life I've always felt like i didn't have a hometown, that i wasn't "from" anywhere, being a military brat and all, but now its clear to me...I'm from America. thats all just America god dammit, and i love the shit out of it.
(just like me!!!)now as much as i do love America I'm not having doubts about being here, but i would be kidding myself and everyone else to tell them that everyday was amazing that or that i am taking full advantage of everything. some days just are harder, they just are worse, something things just are a disappointment - thats the way life works and to tell you anything else would be a misrepresentation of my my time here and of my own memories for myself.
all of that being said i am being offered once in a lifetime opportunities. early last week Dganit (basically the head of Otzma on the Israel end) came by for a bi-weekly meeting she has set up with us. she offhandedly mentioned a project two of us could sign up for if we wanted (assuming we just so happened to live in one of four areas she listed for our second track) to be publicly representing MASA, in meetings and commercials/other media outlets. i thought it would be an awesome thing to do and given the short list of things id actually be willing to do with my life as a career it certainly couldn't hurt. i told her she could toss my name into the hat along with all of the others, and i actually got it. so on Tuesday josh and i are busing into Jerusalem for the day to figure out exactly what the fuck MASA is, to learn how to publicly speak and who knows what else, should prove to be pretty cool. I guess i could probably cool it on the negative nancyism and focus myself on how lucky i am, i cant imagine that will happen but you never know!
alas homework time
A PE G-P
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