So about my weekend, I can't possibly talk about it too much, needless to say I made it though - you know, to the other side and all that jazz. Listen the woman and her family are really nice, ok so I'm not saying that. And the shomer shabbasness of it all really wasn't too bad, not to mention that the daughter is six not three (although "cool" was an exaggeration). However, it turns out that she has other children she'd not previously mentioned to me, twin three and a half year old boys, totally adorable and totally still stuck in their terrible twos. After our six a.m. wake up call I know I was exhausted, but my hostess seemed to think her general exhaustion outweighed the fact that I was a guest and she asked me to watch the kids while her and her husband napped. I wasn't like "thrilled" about that. I also wasn't "thrilled" about: sleeping on the floor; having to listen to every single thought in her head (should she have had children? should she leave her husband? etc); being proselytized to endlessly (we don't push our faith on outsiders, just those from the tribe who have slipped away from Hashem); but mostly the fact that she cuts her children's hair. Whatever! to keep myself busy I mentally (we don't create on Shabbat, no writing!) started preparing what I believe to be a really very reasonable list of appropriate gifts you(!!!!) can get me for my Bat Mitzvah that I am studying so hard for every spare minute:
Planet Earth Dvd Box Set
Coffee table kitchen design books
Coffee table books on international cuisine (Israel might be nice!)
Cook books likewise from around the world, pretty pictures!
Coffee table books on bathroom design
the perfect set of flatware - couture from Crate and Barrel (perfect for any kitchen theme, not too modern but nicely streamlined, unassuming)
Coffee table architecture books (modern, themed, specific time period/region/country I'm not trying to control you, I give options)
stainless steel artisan Kitchenaid mixer
this one book I found one time at Dizengoff Center on language and its evolution - Lolzy knows what I'm talking about
a lifetime supply of pomegranate oil infused Burt's Bees lip balm
the ability to speak Hebrew (or any other language I might need at that time)fluently
seasons 1-4 and 6-7 of the West Wing; plus of course the Zoey kidnapping scandal arc in season 5
a meet and great with either Cher, Celine Dion or the Dixie Chicks (preferably all three)
a college acceptance letter (doesn't have to be to the school - singular, that I applied to)
a stable future
a rice cooker
to have my tubes tied (I wrote this one at the kindergarten this morning)
a bushel of kittens
professional grade cutlery
an hour long free for all at Williams-Sonoma, Crate and Barrel or Restoration Hardware
some sort of lifetime membership with discounts to Wegman's
I think that should be good, I wanted to be reasonable and I really think I've accomplished that
Now if people actually want me to I really do have a list of reasons why I like Cher, I can upload it - but I won't assume you actually care, unless you do and then you can just let me know. We can start having some sort of real rapport you know where you comment back and let me know if you actually like what I'm saying, if you hate it and why you know all that good stuff.
that's all for now
C.W. Ginsburg
Monday, February 18, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
It's All Coming Back to Me Now
I think I would be a great teacher, with one small exception, I might happen to be prone to extreme favoritism and disdain for my students.
There is one little girl in my kindergarten class that I absolutely despise, it's almost irrational how much I don't like her. Especially because I don't even speak her language, I just always assume she's doing things that annoy me and is always pestering the students that I actually like. That and the fact that she is like a giantess, now don't go getting all offended, I'm not even specifically saying fat. She's just the largest little child I've ever seen, she must be at least 3 times the size of all of the other regular kids That bothers me immensely, she throws off the aesthetics of the class room. Not to mention, she's always wearing this heinous white lace hair netting over the back of her braided pig tails. Plus last class she tried to trick me and looked behind her so she could try to sneak by me, don't you know me bitch, don't play games. Ugh I feel like the Asian cheerleader in Bring It On who gets into the fight with that little girl.
So besides being a bad person and hating children, which mind you isn't my fault, we don't all have the unfortunate genetic disposition to love all things little, snotty (literally), dirty and annoying, things have been settling in quite nicely. I find myself bored quite often, which Serena pointed out wasn't such a bad thing. When you live somewhere boring, sometimes you're bored. Simple as that, shockingly all of us were kind of surprised to think about it in terms like that. These last five months have been so go go go I'd been forgetting to breathe. In the massive amounts of downtime we now have my roommates and I have decided to spend our time productively in light of the forthcoming election back in the motherland. We've been doing extensive research on the executive branch of the government. We realized we were a bit behind for all of the knowledge we needed to quickly amass, and what way better than rapid-fire conversation riddled with obscure and asinine trivia factiods - i.e. the brilliance that is Aaron Sorkin and the West Wing. We are five seasons deep (yes I'm aware Sorkin left after the fourth season due to some drug related "issues", if it matters I never saw them as issues, no ones mind jumps around like that who isn't on drugs) although my roommates do leave me behind occasionally if I'm busy, so I have a few spotty episodes here and there I need to catch up on. Something tells me I'll be able to pencil it, no scratch that, ink it into my calendar.
I'm also supposedly studying for my Bat Mitzvah, it turns out I haven't developed any suppressed or untapped study skills in the two years since I went on sabbatical from school. Also my ego that tells me anything a 13 year old boy can do in 2 years I can reasonably learn in 7 weeks. I don't even care that these young boys have already had 6 years of Hebrew under their belt and a mass of knowledge on the Torah and Judaism in general, G.D. I'm 20 years old! I can do it. I'm assuming the panic will set in come April 11th when I realize I don't even know my parsha in English. So I've still got time, no worries.
In the meantime, instead of studying I've been watching youtube clips of last seasons winner of America's Got Talent, and more importantly compiling lists with Jessica. They are the following:
Things I love about Celine Dion:
her fierce weave
a foreign accent I find decipherable
any/all facial expressions, especially Elvis-esque lip curls
old ass husband
this one ring I saw her wearing on a clip from Ellen that looks like a jaguar eating her finger completely encrusted in what i can only presume were bedazzler rhinestones
the ability to conduct electricity
that speaking has become secondary to singing, especially when it comes to responding to questions
that damned Titanic song
whatever the name of that CD she put out with the song where the guy gets into a motorcycle accident and it's really amazingly 90's over dramatic, plus all of the other songs on that particular release
the Chrysler commercial
the fact that by licensing her song for the Chrysler commercial she got a free Town & Country, way to hold out for the money swag
white horses
exercise videos
thumb energies, so necessary
who let Celine out?
her son's name sounds like Ray Charles
all of the parents and children of the world
her wardrobe
that damned ring again
her elongated Canadian face
Cirque de Celine
Celine solution
that there is only one of her
she does not have a little eye like occasionally I do in pictures
if I had to make a wish for the Make a Wish Foundation it would be to meet her, and she would probably cure me with her tears like a phoenix
that if I log into youtube and press the drop down button on the search box her name is generally in the top five of recent searches
she's bilingual
her country has socialized health care
she buys things with loonies (and toonies)
she probably likes other horses than just white ones
has most likely met the Queen of England
...potentially is the Queen?
Oprah probably listens to her in the privacy of her own home, or luxury penthouse apartment in Chicago
is either always drunk or maybe never drinks
made me realize Canada isn't just the United State's fancy hat
is not divorced
I would probably buy Celine memorabilia and use it as intended (if I wasn't keeping it in the original packaging so as not to devalue it, maybe just 2 of everything)
she probably smells good, she does have her own perfume
I can buy it and probably smell good too
wears heels well, maybe she even wears them while riding her horses in several assorted colors
was the lead character in Beauty and the Beast
is not racist (that I know of)
infinite wisdom
makes any song sound basically like angels are whispering in my ear
is too famous for Dancing with the Stars
is taller than me
personally saved Canada's economy and all world travel
likes McDonald's
owns 1300 hospitals for kittens
is 3 months younger than her stepson
most likely signed her life away to Rene in some sort of marriage/legal slavery contract at 15
broadcast her sons baptism across the Canadian subcontinent
pioneered the internet and the Oregon Trail
Things I don't like about Celine Dion:
So as you can see conclusively, Celine Dion is pretty cool.
*disclaimer, Jessica and I might have "fictionalized" some parts
next week CHER!!!!
In conclusion this weekend for shabbat I will be going to spend time with this emotionally unstable American ex-pat and her Israeli husband in a moshav somewhere near here. 30+ hours of forced religious fun time, lights off according to a preset timer, floor length wrap skirts, talking about her dysfunctional family, sleeping on the floor of her 3 year old daughters room so I can read her English stories, not showering, eating vegetarian kosher food, and keeping a grin plastered on my face while I contemplate all of the ways I can escape to use my cell phone. Something tells me an update will follow soon with those juicy deets.
okkk,
C.W. Ginsburg
I think I'm going to start publishing under my party name, because why not!
There is one little girl in my kindergarten class that I absolutely despise, it's almost irrational how much I don't like her. Especially because I don't even speak her language, I just always assume she's doing things that annoy me and is always pestering the students that I actually like. That and the fact that she is like a giantess, now don't go getting all offended, I'm not even specifically saying fat. She's just the largest little child I've ever seen, she must be at least 3 times the size of all of the other regular kids That bothers me immensely, she throws off the aesthetics of the class room. Not to mention, she's always wearing this heinous white lace hair netting over the back of her braided pig tails. Plus last class she tried to trick me and looked behind her so she could try to sneak by me, don't you know me bitch, don't play games. Ugh I feel like the Asian cheerleader in Bring It On who gets into the fight with that little girl.
So besides being a bad person and hating children, which mind you isn't my fault, we don't all have the unfortunate genetic disposition to love all things little, snotty (literally), dirty and annoying, things have been settling in quite nicely. I find myself bored quite often, which Serena pointed out wasn't such a bad thing. When you live somewhere boring, sometimes you're bored. Simple as that, shockingly all of us were kind of surprised to think about it in terms like that. These last five months have been so go go go I'd been forgetting to breathe. In the massive amounts of downtime we now have my roommates and I have decided to spend our time productively in light of the forthcoming election back in the motherland. We've been doing extensive research on the executive branch of the government. We realized we were a bit behind for all of the knowledge we needed to quickly amass, and what way better than rapid-fire conversation riddled with obscure and asinine trivia factiods - i.e. the brilliance that is Aaron Sorkin and the West Wing. We are five seasons deep (yes I'm aware Sorkin left after the fourth season due to some drug related "issues", if it matters I never saw them as issues, no ones mind jumps around like that who isn't on drugs) although my roommates do leave me behind occasionally if I'm busy, so I have a few spotty episodes here and there I need to catch up on. Something tells me I'll be able to pencil it, no scratch that, ink it into my calendar.
I'm also supposedly studying for my Bat Mitzvah, it turns out I haven't developed any suppressed or untapped study skills in the two years since I went on sabbatical from school. Also my ego that tells me anything a 13 year old boy can do in 2 years I can reasonably learn in 7 weeks. I don't even care that these young boys have already had 6 years of Hebrew under their belt and a mass of knowledge on the Torah and Judaism in general, G.D. I'm 20 years old! I can do it. I'm assuming the panic will set in come April 11th when I realize I don't even know my parsha in English. So I've still got time, no worries.
In the meantime, instead of studying I've been watching youtube clips of last seasons winner of America's Got Talent, and more importantly compiling lists with Jessica. They are the following:
Things I love about Celine Dion:
her fierce weave
a foreign accent I find decipherable
any/all facial expressions, especially Elvis-esque lip curls
old ass husband
this one ring I saw her wearing on a clip from Ellen that looks like a jaguar eating her finger completely encrusted in what i can only presume were bedazzler rhinestones
the ability to conduct electricity
that speaking has become secondary to singing, especially when it comes to responding to questions
that damned Titanic song
whatever the name of that CD she put out with the song where the guy gets into a motorcycle accident and it's really amazingly 90's over dramatic, plus all of the other songs on that particular release
the Chrysler commercial
the fact that by licensing her song for the Chrysler commercial she got a free Town & Country, way to hold out for the money swag
white horses
exercise videos
thumb energies, so necessary
who let Celine out?
her son's name sounds like Ray Charles
all of the parents and children of the world
her wardrobe
that damned ring again
her elongated Canadian face
Cirque de Celine
Celine solution
that there is only one of her
she does not have a little eye like occasionally I do in pictures
if I had to make a wish for the Make a Wish Foundation it would be to meet her, and she would probably cure me with her tears like a phoenix
that if I log into youtube and press the drop down button on the search box her name is generally in the top five of recent searches
she's bilingual
her country has socialized health care
she buys things with loonies (and toonies)
she probably likes other horses than just white ones
has most likely met the Queen of England
...potentially is the Queen?
Oprah probably listens to her in the privacy of her own home, or luxury penthouse apartment in Chicago
is either always drunk or maybe never drinks
made me realize Canada isn't just the United State's fancy hat
is not divorced
I would probably buy Celine memorabilia and use it as intended (if I wasn't keeping it in the original packaging so as not to devalue it, maybe just 2 of everything)
she probably smells good, she does have her own perfume
I can buy it and probably smell good too
wears heels well, maybe she even wears them while riding her horses in several assorted colors
was the lead character in Beauty and the Beast
is not racist (that I know of)
infinite wisdom
makes any song sound basically like angels are whispering in my ear
is too famous for Dancing with the Stars
is taller than me
personally saved Canada's economy and all world travel
likes McDonald's
owns 1300 hospitals for kittens
is 3 months younger than her stepson
most likely signed her life away to Rene in some sort of marriage/legal slavery contract at 15
broadcast her sons baptism across the Canadian subcontinent
pioneered the internet and the Oregon Trail
Things I don't like about Celine Dion:
So as you can see conclusively, Celine Dion is pretty cool.
*disclaimer, Jessica and I might have "fictionalized" some parts
next week CHER!!!!
In conclusion this weekend for shabbat I will be going to spend time with this emotionally unstable American ex-pat and her Israeli husband in a moshav somewhere near here. 30+ hours of forced religious fun time, lights off according to a preset timer, floor length wrap skirts, talking about her dysfunctional family, sleeping on the floor of her 3 year old daughters room so I can read her English stories, not showering, eating vegetarian kosher food, and keeping a grin plastered on my face while I contemplate all of the ways I can escape to use my cell phone. Something tells me an update will follow soon with those juicy deets.
okkk,
C.W. Ginsburg
I think I'm going to start publishing under my party name, because why not!
Monday, February 4, 2008
sunsets on the sea
so im sitting here drinking a nice mug of 18 sheckel white wine, winding down my perfect day.
so lets see it all started after work last night when nicole, lyndsey and i all went out to dinner with leore and her mother. the restaurant was trendy verging on chic and served traify seafood, not to mention some strong wine. the food was good, the conversation sensational. her mother is quite possibly the most sincere individual ive ever met. im currently loving meeting everyones parents and im loving that the people that raised the people i love are also so loveable (not so surprising when you think about it in those terms). i was having such a genuinely nice time i just kind of let the time slip by not unintentionally and missed the last train back to beit shemesh. i probably could have caught a bus but i just wasnt really in the mood and it didnt take too much convincing for leore and lyndsey to get me to walk back to lyndseys place and stay there.
the three of us (plus lyndseys boyfriend shlomo) settled in and watched some sex and the city (the dvd had something like 35 subtitle languages to select from, technology!) drank a beer and headed to bed. i had a real bed, in a real room, alone! so nice. slept in until noon, missed my volunteering (wasnt like distraught over it). took a nice hot shower and sat on the porch reading for about an hour letting my hair air dry in the cool sea breeze while i waited for lyndsey to get home from the gym. once she rinsed off and got dressed we hiked through the city all the way south to neve tzedek (the first jewish development that sprung from yaffo) which has become pretty bourgeoisie and artsy, mind you not so bourgeoisie and arsty that is isnt still absolutely adorable. sat down at a french themed boutique hotel (as i said, bourgie) for lunch (chicken salad and a cheese plate selection with these olives i almost died over). the meal of course chalked full of fun and flirty conversation. we obviously worked out our respective life plans, to include settling on some antique furniture and an adorable puppy with two different colored eyes while the two of us shopped around at some over priced boutiques all bursting with outlandish outfits constructed out of single pieces of fabric cut so that it hangs, twists and ties in ways i'm certainly not imaginative to comprehend (this damned israeli fashion).
after a little over an hour of that lyndseys feet were killing her in her cute new boots so we decided to wrap up and head down by the sea to walk home. we stopped to chat with this local artist who yelled down to us from the roof of this amazing home he lives at. his grandfather built in in 1907 (41 years before the state of israel was declared if you were wondering) it stands alone in a parking lot now, neve tzedek behind it and the sky scrappers of westernized tel aviv directly across the street to the north. he invited us to come watch him blow glass this evening at his workshop and to meet some famous israeli sculptor/painter (whos name eludes me). we unfortunately never made it there i had to get back home but it was just one of those "only in israel" moments.
after we finished talking to him we kept walking towards the beach just in time to catch the sunset. we settled in on some rocks near the sea and shlomo met us. it was one of those rare moments that even while happening i knew i would always remember. so cheesy, i know, but ive had a turn around as of late and ive been happy and right here concluding a really wonderful day (that ps was punctuated with all of the best music playing everywhere i went all day) was a picture of how im starting to really see israel. i looked around and to our left was a young arab family, to our right a native israeli guy fishing and behind us an ultra orthodox couple and there we sat, two white american jewish girls listening to her boyfriend playing the harmonica watching the sun set. and looking out over the water thinking about how amazing this place really can be sometimes, trying to soak in all of my surroundings my mind faded to nothingness while gazing out at the rays of sunlight spilling out onto the water, suddenly i realized why people paint. it was so striking and vivid. ive seen the sun set countless times and been places with beauty uncompromised, but ive never noticed colors like that before.
im the kinda gal that likes ending on a high note so i pardoned myself, appropriately of course, grabbed my things and a cab and headed on home.
now who would have guessed this very same day that was so wonderful for me only, brought me closer to why i love this place, was so horrific for the rest of the country. i learned later this evening that for the first time in a little over a year a suicide bomber attacked israel. two men strapped with bombs headed to a mall in dimona, one detonated his load killing one and injuring 11 while the other was shot down before he had a chance.
my thoughts of course are with the families and with the people stuck with the impossible decision of what to do now.
Anne
so lets see it all started after work last night when nicole, lyndsey and i all went out to dinner with leore and her mother. the restaurant was trendy verging on chic and served traify seafood, not to mention some strong wine. the food was good, the conversation sensational. her mother is quite possibly the most sincere individual ive ever met. im currently loving meeting everyones parents and im loving that the people that raised the people i love are also so loveable (not so surprising when you think about it in those terms). i was having such a genuinely nice time i just kind of let the time slip by not unintentionally and missed the last train back to beit shemesh. i probably could have caught a bus but i just wasnt really in the mood and it didnt take too much convincing for leore and lyndsey to get me to walk back to lyndseys place and stay there.
the three of us (plus lyndseys boyfriend shlomo) settled in and watched some sex and the city (the dvd had something like 35 subtitle languages to select from, technology!) drank a beer and headed to bed. i had a real bed, in a real room, alone! so nice. slept in until noon, missed my volunteering (wasnt like distraught over it). took a nice hot shower and sat on the porch reading for about an hour letting my hair air dry in the cool sea breeze while i waited for lyndsey to get home from the gym. once she rinsed off and got dressed we hiked through the city all the way south to neve tzedek (the first jewish development that sprung from yaffo) which has become pretty bourgeoisie and artsy, mind you not so bourgeoisie and arsty that is isnt still absolutely adorable. sat down at a french themed boutique hotel (as i said, bourgie) for lunch (chicken salad and a cheese plate selection with these olives i almost died over). the meal of course chalked full of fun and flirty conversation. we obviously worked out our respective life plans, to include settling on some antique furniture and an adorable puppy with two different colored eyes while the two of us shopped around at some over priced boutiques all bursting with outlandish outfits constructed out of single pieces of fabric cut so that it hangs, twists and ties in ways i'm certainly not imaginative to comprehend (this damned israeli fashion).
after a little over an hour of that lyndseys feet were killing her in her cute new boots so we decided to wrap up and head down by the sea to walk home. we stopped to chat with this local artist who yelled down to us from the roof of this amazing home he lives at. his grandfather built in in 1907 (41 years before the state of israel was declared if you were wondering) it stands alone in a parking lot now, neve tzedek behind it and the sky scrappers of westernized tel aviv directly across the street to the north. he invited us to come watch him blow glass this evening at his workshop and to meet some famous israeli sculptor/painter (whos name eludes me). we unfortunately never made it there i had to get back home but it was just one of those "only in israel" moments.
after we finished talking to him we kept walking towards the beach just in time to catch the sunset. we settled in on some rocks near the sea and shlomo met us. it was one of those rare moments that even while happening i knew i would always remember. so cheesy, i know, but ive had a turn around as of late and ive been happy and right here concluding a really wonderful day (that ps was punctuated with all of the best music playing everywhere i went all day) was a picture of how im starting to really see israel. i looked around and to our left was a young arab family, to our right a native israeli guy fishing and behind us an ultra orthodox couple and there we sat, two white american jewish girls listening to her boyfriend playing the harmonica watching the sun set. and looking out over the water thinking about how amazing this place really can be sometimes, trying to soak in all of my surroundings my mind faded to nothingness while gazing out at the rays of sunlight spilling out onto the water, suddenly i realized why people paint. it was so striking and vivid. ive seen the sun set countless times and been places with beauty uncompromised, but ive never noticed colors like that before.
im the kinda gal that likes ending on a high note so i pardoned myself, appropriately of course, grabbed my things and a cab and headed on home.
now who would have guessed this very same day that was so wonderful for me only, brought me closer to why i love this place, was so horrific for the rest of the country. i learned later this evening that for the first time in a little over a year a suicide bomber attacked israel. two men strapped with bombs headed to a mall in dimona, one detonated his load killing one and injuring 11 while the other was shot down before he had a chance.
my thoughts of course are with the families and with the people stuck with the impossible decision of what to do now.
Anne
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