summer

i know everyone seems to love summer and what not, but can we just admit to the elephant in the room.  summer is an absolute curse.  i am forced to go out all the time and "enjoy myself".  its so nice out, why dont we just sit on a patio?  why dont we go out for drinks on a tuesday at midnight?  why dont we try dating anyone and everyone? we should be having fun because we are wearing shorts at nighttime!  what if i want to just eat aimees karamel sutra in imperceptible (only to myself) bites and watch prison break?  i dont care that prison break came out in 2005 and is as bad now as it was then.  what if i want to try to teach myself the history of punk music by locking myself in my troubled, windowless room with hours and hours of music?  no, i should go to the beach.  well guess what, im scared of the water.  shit is terrifying.  this is the east coast, i cant see through that water, i dont think so.

in conclusion: summer is a curse

labor day

sometimes things just sort of change.  all day ive been a lazy mess.  i keep saying that im going to go to the gym, that im going to straighten my hair (for a hair experiment im working on called "greaser"), that im going to find an apartment and a new job.  but i did nothing.  then i got a phone call from someone who was very excited.  just that she spoke very excitedly.  and now here i am.  i sent several emails, and thats a form of work i would say, im more seriously considering going to the gym, i picked a restaurant for dinner.  like this is good stuff.  i know it seems small, but its all about the mindset.  i feel very much more go go go than i did twenty minutes ago when ordering in for dinner seemed a reasonable option for roommates night out.  boy are my roommates going to be surprised when they find out that ive picked a place we either have to hotwire a car or take 3 busses.

redux

i suppose i should get back to it.  you know this blog really had more purpose when i was actually in israel.  and my tumblr was an epic fail.  there are only so many videos of your brother singing opera that you can realistically post hoping that people are going to follow.  i think the new direction, which ive decided as i am writing this, is going to be about trying to make it work.

im certainly not the only confused, single, 26 year old living in new york city trying to be something more than i currently am.  my perspective might not have any more depth, or any depth at all, than anyone else's, but it might resonate for someone.  quite honestly even if it's just myself that's some sort of feat.

yesterday i cleaned off my desk in hopes that by creating a writing center for myself i would actually write.  the fact that im doing this is a positive sign of sorts.  now the fact that my room has no windows and depresses the depths of my soul might be an issue.  but perhaps the clean desk is just a symbol.  its like having a tidy cutting board.  my mind is clear, my mental mis-en-place is in place.  ok i mean sure there is a stack of knives ive yet to use, and books that would never be found near one another on any form of organized bookshelf, but there is clear and useable space in the middle.

allegedly there is no time like the present, so i am going to do my best to use it a little more wisely.

xx anne

i quit smoking like a week ago and im going mad!

I recently spilled a container of pickled jalapenos meant for my quiznos veggie sub on my sheets.  this means three things: 1. my bed is spicy 2. ive been sleeping on a bare mattress for four days, and 3. I eat in the comfort of my bed.

I wish I could write poetry so I could talk about my feelings and no one would know what I was talking about.

it was recently brought to my attention that I write like a left handed person.  isnt that fucking scary?