patriot nation

my mom is not only allowed, but expected, to wear jeans and athletic shoes to work. they say its so she can run to...or from the children. i can't imagine she's liking her new job too horribly much, but at least when she's at rest shes comfortable and casual.



in my life:
i hate school.

i do this thing where im very aware of time in my head. once, during the period of time in which i was infamously a debt collector for the worlds largest credit union, they made all of us in training play this game, where you closed your eyes and raised your hand when you thought that sixty seconds had passed. almost everyone had raised their hand by 35 seconds, a couple of turds waited obnoxiously long until like 3 minutes, and i raised my hand at 64 seconds. the point of the exercise is to show you how impatient most people are, and what their perception of "give me a minute" really is. point being, my perception of a minute is a minute. i know how long it takes me to get places, i can relatively accurately guess traffic patterns and parking issues, the walk to class, getting lost on the way, stopping to stare at people, etc etc. so when i missed my first class in two years monday morning (not first class ive missed in two years mind you, literally the FIRST class ive had in two years) it was blatant and deliberate. i knew exactly what i was doing when i sliced into that wegmans onion bagel and put it in the toaster. i knew what i was doing as i slathered on the chive cream cheese, golden tomatoes, capers and red onion. when i sat down to eat it and check my facebook. when i took a shower, knowing full well i wasnt going to talk to anyone all day. so the real question left to be asked is mostly whats wrong with me? like who honest to god thinks that is a good way to make a first impression just on oneself when going back to school. i did however use the time in which i had missed my first class to finally purchase some books, pens, pencils, paper you know like "necessities" at the GMU official bookstore. it was an awful experience and i somehow managed to run into like the 4 people i had hoped to avoid for my entire time here. there were signs everywhere that said things like patriot nation and begged me to join different student groups all clad in green and gold. but there was no saving grace outside either as the day had been completely devoted to new students. college is overwhelming when there are people there.

oh, and heres the kicker on that class, even though i maned up and emailed my prof about being absent and asked for the assignment, as well as some rando from the class listserve (btw f you "babebe2") neither of them wrote me back and it turns out they either watched or read some absurd japanese philosophical movie/novella on perception of which i can not for the life of me find online in a workable document, and they wrote a short essay on it. i mean is this a joke, or is this a joke. it was the first day of school in a 100 level history class. who assigns actual work. anyways so im pissed, going to get graded down on being absent and missing an assignment, but i suppose now that im taking hindu philosophy i should just recognize blatant karma when is sucker punches me in the gullet.

on top of that for the classes i did go to:
1. physical geography: not to be confused with world geography (stupid me), its a science class. about how the world turns and shit. an inconvenient truth is one of our sources for the class. it was recommended that i look it up in ten parts on youtube by my professor, whom i can not for the life of me understand due to his accent and his inability to modulate the level of his voice to an audible decibel. the girl that sits behind me wears long roxy board shorts and huffs things like "ugh im soooo bored" and "hell nah" all class. suffice to say i dont like her. there is also the mystery girl who is randomly in this class and my next one...
2. hinduism religion and philosophy: so who else but me is taking a freshman level natural science and a junior level eastern religion philosophy course with like 9 other people and a short vietnamese professor who says "you see what i mean" after literally every single statement he makes. ive heard "you see what i mean" overused before, but its normally by people of lesser intelligence and they are actually referring to a situation in which you probably do see what they mean. but no prof nguyen says things in which you really have no idea what he means because they are fucking philosophical man. its unfair, and i can not listen to him either because i just count how many times he says that. it must be bringing him some sort of enlightenment so i figure i should see if i can see the light when he says it.
3. lastly of the classes ive taken so far (one final fifth one tomorrow evening) interpersonal communication: besides that fact that i was convinced my teacher was the woman amanda told me about who does nothing but speak about her partner and their child all the time, until she mentioned her husband, there is this girl. she is unfortunate. like in every sense of the word, but without me having to feel badly for her. do you see what i mean. she was wearing this grossly oversized white tee shirt with what appeared to be a faux needlepoint saying on it. i couldnt focus on her long enough to read it, but my two best guesses are either a. a quote from the bible or b. an ironic quote from the bible. in either case she probably is interested in faeries (spelled that way) anime and boys that wear black shirts with double entendres written in aggressive white lettering. now before you go thinking im so so horrible, let me just point out its not that i like noticed her and was just obsessively being awful about her in my mind, she went out of her way to interrupt the class several times on tangents that were really not even tangentially related to the topic. i mean dont get me wrong the topic of "interpersonal communication" barely deserves to be a topic (of course by barely i do mean "does not") but that doesnt mean that i want to listen to someone blather about things loudly having to do with how unfair it is we have to buy new books since they have worksheets in them. i at one point looked at the young lady to my left and informed her that i would be switching seats so i could sit closer to my new obsession tomorrow, because thats where the action is at. i mean its a class on networking, ive got plenty of free time to do other things. the other important happening in class was that we were assigned a short speech for tomorrow in which we present a quote. lucky me i had my handy dandy free mason planner in front of me, you know the high school style ones with an inspirational quote from some sort of prolific mind from history on each page. well guess who they chose as the first one of the new school year...no not thomas jefferson, albert einstein is close...ok give up...




jessica ALBA
JESSICA alba



you are reading that correctly (even with that creative capitalization i did there) the students of george mason who are trying to inspire me into feeling good about going to this university selected jessica alba to lead their quotes for the year.

the quote is something to the effect of:

"if youre like confident you can like do like anything you want even if you like dont like know how"

at least thats how im going to present it, because i imagine thats how she said it before her publicist cleaned it up a bit (cleaned it up = taking out the likes).


anyways like i said
i hate school
i kind of also hate my job
my to-do lists i feel arent getting as accomplished as i want them to because now i have to add things to them everyday as opposed to once every 3 months
but i did get fresh new kicks today that make me smile


peace and hair grease

Anne

so its 228 the morning after my 21st birthday and im completely sober, not only that but i start school again tomorrow. damn its been a minute. in order to put off thinking about school i did just that, put it off. i dont have my books, i dont have any paper or pens (my work ones permitting), no back pack, hell i dont even know my schedule or where my classes are. and that says nothing as to whether im allowed to park on campus or not. suffice to say i am horribly underprepared, and really all that this whole going back to school thing has done for me is gotten my feet ready to fly. i love it here i mean i really do consider virginia my actual home, and i like it to be the place i come back to, but i just kind of feel like its time for a new adventure somewhere flirty. im aware of the fact that thats kind of impossible right now and my parents might end my life if i were to mention it, but im getting the sense these are going to be a few months to get through and not necessarily enjoy. ive held this job for almost two months thats like some sort of accomplishment right? anyways point being since ive got jittery feet expect the unexpected friends. i should hear back on whether or not im leading an israel trip this winter within the week so that should help calm me down, but if you live somewhere fun and you want a weekend guest get at me, i really feel like i need to start doing the things i profess to like and not just drinking and being really fun you know. so i want to travel travel travel.

groovy

hi everyone
ive been extremely remiss in my blogging lately
i totally outlined two whole blogs, one on my trip to southern mass (no not boston), and the other on how my family is polite (it was relevant and interesting i promise).
im pretty sure those arent ever going to see the light of day (well i could resurrect the second one at some point, but i probably wont), so i figured id just start on a whole new topic.

so this past saturday night i stay in right, which has so not been me lately, really im the opposite of that. and i cant tell if its because the novelty of being home has worn off and im actually settling back in, or that taking just one day off of partying made me reevaluate my whole life but goooooodness was i manic. i made perhaps the longest to do list ive made in quite some time, and if you know me well you know i love my damned to-do lists. this one is entitled "things to do before school starts: fall semester 2008" (i always like them to have really official titles because it makes whatevers on them, like say "buy pens!", sound really important) well of course i went a little overboard and it contains things like "look into summer internships" with a list of several options i think would make sense...10 months out. there are also several subcategories and ive noted on what day at what time i should be trying to accomplish these tasks. like take today for example. 1. i asked barb to pick up my school books 2. i found someone to cover my thursday morning shift so i can a. go out wednesday night like a proper lady and b. get my military id thursday mid-afternoon so i dont lose my medical insurance (that would be bad) 3. 411ed navy federal to setup a bank account so i have a local branch i can visit with my cash money 4. 411ed the dcjcc so i could sign up for jewish cooking classes (hopefully with older well connected jews - this is directly linked to my summer internship search) in the fall, of course she was out of town so i had to leave a very detailed message and i made sure to include that i used to live in israel because its impressive 5. tried to find someone to cover my sunday which they are refusing to do, but its my 21st birthday so they have to.

that fifth and final task today brings me to my next point. i am very literally teetering on the edge of a precipice i legitimately at one time thought might never come. 21. and you know what, im extremely underwhelmed. for the last approximately 20years and 350ish days ive been talking about and planning the most spectacular party week ever. and then all of the sudden i almost could not care less. school starts monday and i have this enormous list to tackle now, plus we are all pretty aware that not being 21 hasnt really impeded my life at all. all i can really think thats changing is that jacks is going to have to serve me again, and they only havent been for like maybe a month and a half. thats not so much build up you know. anyways getting older sucks. im going to pretend to be 17 until im 40 and then i might be 16, who knows!

point being: my immediate family (discluding michael) is incredibly polite, im almost 21, i like to-do lists, time flies, dare to dream


i love you all

goodnight
anne banann

oh no

so i just read my previous blog, which for the last couple of days i was actually proud of. im not sure if its because im high, so everything is going so slowly, or because it just actually is that terrible...but jesus christ. i hate it right now. i also always forget how much i hate pot.

546 am
work in the morning
winston already asleep (at least an hour)
need more water
cant find toothbrush


Anne