patriot nation

my mom is not only allowed, but expected, to wear jeans and athletic shoes to work. they say its so she can run to...or from the children. i can't imagine she's liking her new job too horribly much, but at least when she's at rest shes comfortable and casual.



in my life:
i hate school.

i do this thing where im very aware of time in my head. once, during the period of time in which i was infamously a debt collector for the worlds largest credit union, they made all of us in training play this game, where you closed your eyes and raised your hand when you thought that sixty seconds had passed. almost everyone had raised their hand by 35 seconds, a couple of turds waited obnoxiously long until like 3 minutes, and i raised my hand at 64 seconds. the point of the exercise is to show you how impatient most people are, and what their perception of "give me a minute" really is. point being, my perception of a minute is a minute. i know how long it takes me to get places, i can relatively accurately guess traffic patterns and parking issues, the walk to class, getting lost on the way, stopping to stare at people, etc etc. so when i missed my first class in two years monday morning (not first class ive missed in two years mind you, literally the FIRST class ive had in two years) it was blatant and deliberate. i knew exactly what i was doing when i sliced into that wegmans onion bagel and put it in the toaster. i knew what i was doing as i slathered on the chive cream cheese, golden tomatoes, capers and red onion. when i sat down to eat it and check my facebook. when i took a shower, knowing full well i wasnt going to talk to anyone all day. so the real question left to be asked is mostly whats wrong with me? like who honest to god thinks that is a good way to make a first impression just on oneself when going back to school. i did however use the time in which i had missed my first class to finally purchase some books, pens, pencils, paper you know like "necessities" at the GMU official bookstore. it was an awful experience and i somehow managed to run into like the 4 people i had hoped to avoid for my entire time here. there were signs everywhere that said things like patriot nation and begged me to join different student groups all clad in green and gold. but there was no saving grace outside either as the day had been completely devoted to new students. college is overwhelming when there are people there.

oh, and heres the kicker on that class, even though i maned up and emailed my prof about being absent and asked for the assignment, as well as some rando from the class listserve (btw f you "babebe2") neither of them wrote me back and it turns out they either watched or read some absurd japanese philosophical movie/novella on perception of which i can not for the life of me find online in a workable document, and they wrote a short essay on it. i mean is this a joke, or is this a joke. it was the first day of school in a 100 level history class. who assigns actual work. anyways so im pissed, going to get graded down on being absent and missing an assignment, but i suppose now that im taking hindu philosophy i should just recognize blatant karma when is sucker punches me in the gullet.

on top of that for the classes i did go to:
1. physical geography: not to be confused with world geography (stupid me), its a science class. about how the world turns and shit. an inconvenient truth is one of our sources for the class. it was recommended that i look it up in ten parts on youtube by my professor, whom i can not for the life of me understand due to his accent and his inability to modulate the level of his voice to an audible decibel. the girl that sits behind me wears long roxy board shorts and huffs things like "ugh im soooo bored" and "hell nah" all class. suffice to say i dont like her. there is also the mystery girl who is randomly in this class and my next one...
2. hinduism religion and philosophy: so who else but me is taking a freshman level natural science and a junior level eastern religion philosophy course with like 9 other people and a short vietnamese professor who says "you see what i mean" after literally every single statement he makes. ive heard "you see what i mean" overused before, but its normally by people of lesser intelligence and they are actually referring to a situation in which you probably do see what they mean. but no prof nguyen says things in which you really have no idea what he means because they are fucking philosophical man. its unfair, and i can not listen to him either because i just count how many times he says that. it must be bringing him some sort of enlightenment so i figure i should see if i can see the light when he says it.
3. lastly of the classes ive taken so far (one final fifth one tomorrow evening) interpersonal communication: besides that fact that i was convinced my teacher was the woman amanda told me about who does nothing but speak about her partner and their child all the time, until she mentioned her husband, there is this girl. she is unfortunate. like in every sense of the word, but without me having to feel badly for her. do you see what i mean. she was wearing this grossly oversized white tee shirt with what appeared to be a faux needlepoint saying on it. i couldnt focus on her long enough to read it, but my two best guesses are either a. a quote from the bible or b. an ironic quote from the bible. in either case she probably is interested in faeries (spelled that way) anime and boys that wear black shirts with double entendres written in aggressive white lettering. now before you go thinking im so so horrible, let me just point out its not that i like noticed her and was just obsessively being awful about her in my mind, she went out of her way to interrupt the class several times on tangents that were really not even tangentially related to the topic. i mean dont get me wrong the topic of "interpersonal communication" barely deserves to be a topic (of course by barely i do mean "does not") but that doesnt mean that i want to listen to someone blather about things loudly having to do with how unfair it is we have to buy new books since they have worksheets in them. i at one point looked at the young lady to my left and informed her that i would be switching seats so i could sit closer to my new obsession tomorrow, because thats where the action is at. i mean its a class on networking, ive got plenty of free time to do other things. the other important happening in class was that we were assigned a short speech for tomorrow in which we present a quote. lucky me i had my handy dandy free mason planner in front of me, you know the high school style ones with an inspirational quote from some sort of prolific mind from history on each page. well guess who they chose as the first one of the new school year...no not thomas jefferson, albert einstein is close...ok give up...




jessica ALBA
JESSICA alba



you are reading that correctly (even with that creative capitalization i did there) the students of george mason who are trying to inspire me into feeling good about going to this university selected jessica alba to lead their quotes for the year.

the quote is something to the effect of:

"if youre like confident you can like do like anything you want even if you like dont like know how"

at least thats how im going to present it, because i imagine thats how she said it before her publicist cleaned it up a bit (cleaned it up = taking out the likes).


anyways like i said
i hate school
i kind of also hate my job
my to-do lists i feel arent getting as accomplished as i want them to because now i have to add things to them everyday as opposed to once every 3 months
but i did get fresh new kicks today that make me smile


peace and hair grease

Anne