turkalurk

i hope everyone had a lovely thanksgiving. i know that i did.

not surprisingly i have a little anecdotal story to share.

one of my best friends invited me over to his family's thanksgiving eve party to meet and mingle, i guess he thought id be good at that, probably something hes reconsidering but you cant win them all. well things were going along pretty swimmingly at first, i was enjoying a nice spot of punch (punch = death sangria), chatting it up with his friends and family and of course enjoying a little nosh. it just so happens a little bit of that nosh got caught in between my front left tooth and whatever the one next to it is called. i thought to myself, no biggie anne, turn around remove it with your thumb nail and problem solved. this might be an over the top analogy but since its dealing with me i think its appropriate, you know how there are things that you do all the time that if you made just one false step you could like die or something, like your heel catches the top of the step and you tumble down, that kind of thing. this was totally that. instead of quickly and quietly removing the piece of debris that may or may not have even been visible, i sliced open the top of my gum above my big tooth. id had just enough to drink to think "oh maybe that didnt really happen" but then when i smiled and parker goes "is your mouth bleeding"...well that and the fact that i could feel an actual flap of gum moving about in my mouth, i realized basically that im an idiot. its true these things really can happen to anyone! so i run to the bathroom with parker and am staring at this mess in my mouth while blood drips down in between my two teeth and parker is just laughing telling me to drink more because it will sterilize the area, even though im relatively certain that alcohol is just going to thin my blood and cause it to bleed more. luckily the mouth heals quickly, and by that i mean a big hideous black scab formed giving me in essence a black tooth for the rest of the evening making me look like a legitimate pirate, of which i am not. the scab stayed with me for a lucky two more days, until now where the flap of gum has finally given up on me and ive been left with significantly more of one front tooth showing than the other. lucky for you i figured out how to use iphotobooth. so here is my slightly less gummy than usual smile. enjoy.




gross right, well i have to deal with it. does anyone know how long it takes for gums to regenerate.


other than that my family made it through another holiday without one of my parents walking out so id say overall its been a success.

for now
anne

JAX

hosea from top chef came into my restaurant and sat in my row...

i had a panic attack

i tried to quality check his calamari but i couldnt look him in the face.

embarrassing

cellular

i just got an interesting text message from my father who was upstairs (he's currently speaking at me through my door explaining it to me right now but the text is the real magic)

From: -------@gmail.com
(cell phone charges) Anne owes $28 for going over on cell phone minutes during prime time
Ryan owns $20 for downloading games
Connor owes $0 since he is wi

it cuts off there, and well im pretty glad that it does. we all know connor is his favorite anyways, so im sure he probably just waxed poetic about how responsible he is or some shit. i assume it says something like "since he is without a doubt my favorite child and ill just cover the costs for him"

point being add another 28 smackaroos onto the 90 i currently owe pops. i suppose you could say it would be reasonable to cut back my cell minutes but its just really not. there has to be another solution. maybe if connor and my dad would stop using 150 minutes a month each (spoiled) i could have them so as to create some wiggle room. i dont know, im just musing here.

as a side, i am completely running out of clean underwear. i really need my mother to get home from north carolina and do my laundry. i just dont think i can handle the stress of figuring out how to use the washing machine, which i think is completely reasonable because she doesnt seem to think she needs to figure out how to read a text message or use microsoft word.

ok running late to work!
ive got to have time to stop and get those redbulls

edit: so today im driving to work and lets say im about halfway there and BAM it hits me...i forgot to put deodorant on. ok so if you know me this is like crazy talk, im pretty anal about brushing my teeth a million times a day, and i have like 30 sticks of deodorant in my room in different scents and brands and even some mens deodorant if im feeling like its going to be a really stressful day. so of course im in my dumb truck freaking out about the fact that im going to smell like rotting vodka out of my uniform at work, but im like ok anne itll be ok you left with enough time to stop at giant and just buy some, i mean why not add a 31st to the collection. cue to five minutes later when i realize that in my drunken stupor the night before i just for the life of me can not remember where my wallet is. which most importantly means that its not with me. what i do have is four wrinkled slightly damp dollar bills, 2 dollars in sticky quarters, and a small handful of nickels and dimes, which were also grossly sticky from all the times ive spilled bevs in my cup-holders. basically i know that what my day HAS to include is both deodorant AND a daddy sized redbull (which runs $3.69 w/o tax) and i need TWO of them because i cant not get winston one. so i get to giant and there are decisions to be made. the issue is that i just will not steal anything. i just will not. i cant. but i HAD to have my red bulls and since there was no possible way i could imagine stealing them that meant i kind of had to borrow some deodorant. so i walked into the toiletries aisle, sketchily sketchily, and when i say that i mean my palms were like dripping in sweat because im a good person and i was just about to vomit. ugh i wish my ocds didnt collide, maybe i could get over not having deodorant for a day, but i couldnt, so i stood there for like 5 minutes looking at all the different brands while these two women picked out the stick they were actually going to purchase and then when they left i picked up that unscented ban in the green package (i was actually pretty tempted to get the ashley tisdale special edition teen deodorant), took the cap off, removed the plastic piece, clicked it up... applied a thin layer... clicked it down, put the plastic back, the cap back, placed it back it its spot, and then swallowing the guilt puke in my mouth i ran to my car, drove straight to sunoco and bought two red bulls with sweaty bills and dimes. everyone at work said that im awful, but i bet they would think i was a whole lot more awful if i smelled like b.o. all shift instead of like dior and dove shampoo.

anne

reason for living

so my health has kind of been down in the dumps the last couple of days, but seeing as i ultimately think its more important that i take my mini-vacay this weekend than focusing on my schoolwork i decided to rest all day and drink lots of medium pulp orange juice, hot tea and i made my mother get me some delicious pho from my favorito vietnamese restaurant. now im feeling significantly better and williamsburg plans are in full swing for friday. as if that werent good news enough today was the day ive been waiting for for approximately an entire year. i can think of only 3 other people in the world that were as excited as i was. so heres to you ericka leore and seth.

top chef new york premiered tonight

i think even if i hadnt seen all the previews and the countdown on perezhilton my body would have just naturally gravitated to the television set at 10 pm EST tonight because it would have felt the magnetic pull of cables favorite cooking show. members of my family kept trying to ask me questions about annoying things like my health while i was watching, and were met with the volume bars going up on the tv. i dont have time to chit chat about my phlegm levels when tom colicchio of craft is on screen woman. this season is already intense, they sent this cute little muffin of a girl home before she even saw their loft, i mean her food was bo-ring but she did have fun confessional commentary. whatever, the thing i love most, well not most because thats impossible to quantify, but one of the things i love the most about top chef is that they really try to keep around the highest level of competition as opposed to characters who are entertaining, not that this is always the case (i.e. keeping lisa over antonia in the finale last season) but the panel seems to be pretty dead set on making sure whatever they are eating for the night is going to be the best possible.

side: how much do you envy padma gail ted and tom, like this is basically their lives: wake up, look cute, decide to live in san fran/miami/chicago/new york for a few months, eat delicious foods all day with your friends and talk about how it could be better, look cute, decide to take the people youve decided makes the food you like the best on a vacation to cook for you, invite some really interesting well accomplished world famous chefs to dine with you and your friends, choose a really fabulous venue, enjoy gourmet meals and ripping them apart, again looking cute, probably laughing a little bit, having all around the MOST FUN EVER. basically what im saying is, if youve ever wondered what it is that i want to do with my life its just exactly this. EXACTLY.

anyways i thought sending patrick home was the right thing to do in the end, the kid looked like an idiot and i dont imagine that changing too much throughout the season. although if it matters i did text in and vote for team rainbow over team european duo because those guys are douche bags. as far as the rest of the cast (i read everyones bios like forever ago so if you arent up to date on their lives you might want to do that) lets see i like leah cohen the asian jew from new york because how could i not i basically wish i were her, on my way to being a part of the panel of course, i like hosea of jax in boulder, i like gene from hawaii, i think carla from dc is kind of batshit crazy but i really like hearing someone say "giiiiirlll" in any context, and i might like jamie shes my wildcard right now. ugh its going to be such an intense next few months. i need to join some sort of support group since i dont have any of my faithful followers here with me any more.


hugs and kisses kittens
anne

edit: omg i like really want someone to call me right now, ok so for texting in my vote during the show i got a 99 cent credit to use in the download store at bravotv.com so as you might have been able to guess i selected to top chef theme song as my ringtone. i almost picked padmas voice but it was like a little too sexual it made me kind of uncomfortable to think about listening to as like an alarm clock or something thats what i have foxy brown for

election results

my brothers call my mother president omamma as of this morning


since i got home there has been an ongoing battle between my middle brother connor and i over my bathroom. see the thing is my room is in the basement and it has a full bathroom connected to it. connors room is on the top floor and he and my youngest brother share another full bath that isnt attached to either of their rooms. for the year i was gone connor got pretty used to showering down here, and when i came back i had a couple of issues with it but we talked them out and i decided not to be a raging bitch and just deal for the time being. well then i notice that my face wash (that i pay for myself mind you) is disappearing at a rate that i can only imagine he was whacking off with it, maybe he likes to exfoliate his dick i dont know. so we have our second talk about not using my bathroom. he concedes to not j.o. with my morning burst, things are good...for like a minute. i go to take a shower and not one of the three towels that are specifically mine are in my room. no instead all three are crumpled up wet in his room and smell like athletes foot. we have our next talk, he agrees to start using his own towels. - side: i wish my mother werent so laissez-faire with her child rearing sometimes - now mind you even after these talks he still is only using my towels and my face wash, but hes been getting slightly better about remembering to bring the towels back. cut to about a week ago im hanging out with a friend and he asks me why it is that i 1. use sensitive tooth paste what am i 80, 2. if i have a mustache because there is so much hair not only in the sink but in the tub and 3. its interesting that i just leave my preperation h just hanging on out there for everyone to see. i kind of loose my shit a little. you cant shave your head in my bathroom and just not clean it up, i dont have little black hairs all over my body and i sure as heck dont have 'roids...although i do kind of like that tooth paste its soothing. anyways i didnt bring it up to him because i like didnt want to embarrass him (even though in all honesty i think the prep h is for a soccer injury) but still so then today he barges in my room to take a pillow off my bed and im all like "are you taking my pillow" and he goes "no im taking my pillow i slept in here while you were in vegas" well that was basically about it. i hung up my phone and followed him upstairs in time to here him say to my mother "dip momma dip" and my mother is laughing hysterically whilst scrap-booking. my family is out of their minds. i got nothing solved and i can expect to have to listen to the red hot chili peppers everyday still while connor showers in my room and i have to tip toe around his highness.

anne