this morning i was really sluggish getting up, it took about 4 solid minutes of "love dont let me go" blaring in my ear from my cellular telephone until i realized that it was my alarm and not some a-hole calling me in the early morning hours. it took another minute or so to decide it was in fact more annoying to listen to not very good techno, than to have to open my eyes, roll over and turn the damned thing off (im doing a horrible job making this appropriate if cursing is a problem). i finally managed to get out of bed and have a blissful few morning facebook moments to check on my popularity which is ever growing before i hoped in the shower. i keep leaving my stupid ipod in the truck so i was forced to listen to connors music in the shower, luckily he has 9 third eye blind songs, so i had fodder for cleansing time. i already knew no one was home and boy did i sing my heart out. one day im going to be a rock musician, just like ericka ekstrom and bret michaels. anyways heres where i feel like my story really kicks it up, BAM, a few notches. im out of the shower, right, and im getting dressed as per usual for work in my jlo glo jeans (to make an appearance later), black socks, shoes, belt and white fruit of the loom mens small v-neck, when what do i see but non other than fucking aragog from harry potter (if you arent so well read as i, thats the giant spider from the second book) only BIGGER. like aragogs cousin magragog or something. i was so tired, but i had to deal with it. ugh dont you hate that. its like really magragog why today of all days you know, yesterday i was more alert, probably after work even ill be good, but right now like i have to get dressed and make some coffee but no, instead i had to have a BATTLE ROYALE. which consisted of me collecting all of my shoes, standing on my wrought iron twin bed and hurling them at the pile of clothing mags was hiding in on my floor right next to my mothers antique collection of coca cola bottles she likes to pretend are mine, all the while squealing. he got all up in my other work jeans, which made me really angry because like i didnt want to wear the jlo ones today, they arent everyday jeans, they are for special occasions, but now that there was spider germs all up in my granes i couldnt bring myself to wear them. if im being honest, i thought it might be possible that magragog had some how managed to lay eggs in my jeans, and the thought of hundreds of thousands of probably millions of little tiny brown hairy spiders bursting to life and crawling up my leg while i was say driving while texting on my way to work or even secretly checking my texts in the side stand while at work made me want to vomit and pass out for like at least a half an hour. point being i couldnt wear them, other point being this battle was fierce, i even had to recollect some shoes, i must have thrown close to 40 until i finally got him to succumb to my shear force and will. never underestimate a half asleep girl with a pair of fresh air force ones my friend, it could mean danger for you!
as you can well see the beast slumbers...forever
in other news i did still find time to make my coffee and a fried egg sandwich on buttered toast with, heavily seasoned in black pepper and salt with melted provolone. it was pretty tasty if i do say so myself, and i did a damn fine job of not breaking the yolk when i flipped the egg, which is lucky because realistically i would have had a fit with myself thrown it out, started over and been late to work. but it didnt so that was nice, i munched down, drank my coffee, drove to work, went to tie my walmart servers sneaks in the parking lot and what do i see but...
shit EGG YOLK all over my GLOs! ugh this is all magragogs fault
well whatever i got over all of that, made virtually no money at work today, which was whatever since i find it difficult to care about most things since i had fun anyways and ashley did come to visit. had a nice lunch with winston at the olive garden because someone (hint: not me) only likes dining at chains and since basically my entire life revolves around food and eating and being snobby it was my first choice. i will say in their defense, fine the bread sticks are good, congratulations. i ate enough to want to die, so i bought a sugar free redbull for work. winston says i have to work up to the more intense energy drinks so that i dont have a heart attack on the floor. i thought that was relatively sound advice. after work i ate winstons left over cheese raviolis that had been sitting in my car for several hours festering. whos the food snob now. then i came home and had the pleasure of not only watching the secret diaries and weeds but TED ALLENS new foodnetwork show. TED ALLEN. the ted allen. as in ted allen ted allen. god he is so GREAT. and i caught previews for a new show ask aida with aida mollenkamp. shes a lucky bitch. what she just likes food and writing about it and talking to people. who doesnt. why not give me a show. ok yeah so she did go to culinary school...at le cordon bleu in paris, but f it. what does she really have that i dont. nothing, thats what.
anyways i cant really think of what else to say, other than its really late and my eyes are going all shifty on me. ashley maybe you can edit out the parts your mom
wouldnt like and then you can show her. i tried you know.
until later
Anne
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